Harold! ~An extremely belittling fic
by Xianshuu
Summary: Ami-chan gets a plant...The youma come back... EVERYONE gets bashed! Beware- THIS FIC IS EVIL AND AWFUL! Not to be taken..at all!!


Heyo!  
This is my first released SM 'fic, so be VERY gentle when flaming (wouldn't wanna catch  
fire) This is all in fun, and if you HATE humor and mockery, please turn around and leave.  
  
  
  
  
  
Ok, all you easily angered people gone? Good, I don't wanna offend anyone!  
This has no hentai. Minako looks at a porno mag and there it swearing, so I rate it R just  
in case...  
Now, I love the Sailor Senshi but I decided to do an over-  
reactive storyline. So yeah I'm kinda making fun of them. Don't get mad!  
Well, here goes nothing! (Oh and this probably takes place after the Stars, I dunno)  
  
~~~~  
Ami was sitting in her room one day, wishing that she had some sort of a life. She had   
already read through all of the books for her classes, plus many extra, and she was bored.  
She thought about asking the senshi to come over, but they always made fun of her Teletubby  
poster. And Lita always ended up beating the crap out of her. So she decided, "Hey why  
don't I take a walk and study nature!" Ami hadn't taken a good nature walk for a few days,  
so she got very excited and peed her pants. 'Oh well!' she thought, and headed put on her  
way.  
  
As she was walking down the street, she spied a beautiful rare weed specimen. She went over  
to take a look, and out of nowhere Zoisite appeared. She was looking quite feminine today..  
  
Ami cowered away, but Zoicite saw her and laughed her annoying laugh.   
"Do you like this plant little wimp girl?" Ami shook her head ferociously, it was a very  
rare sort! Zoicite smirked and her and peed all over the plant. Ami gasped  
as Zoicite stuck out a foot to step on it. She dove under Zoi's leg and grabbed the plant.  
Zoicite smashes Ami's face in. But she didn't care, this plant still had hope! She ran back  
home to try and repot the plant.  
  
~~~~  
Rei was praying to the fire later that afternoon, when she caught glimpse of something   
strange. Outside, her grandpa was talking to someone strangely familiar. She snuck over  
to take a look.   
  
Standing right nest to Grandpa was Nephlite! 'That bastard!' Rei thought. 'I'll show him!  
She stepped out and began to chant, "Rin, pyou, tou, sha, kai, jin, retsu, sai, zen, Akuryou  
Taisan!" But Neph stepped aside and the charm hit Grandpa squa between the eyes!   
  
"Crap! What the hell are you doing here? I thought Queen Beryl killed you dangit!" Rei yelled  
at him, prepared to chant again.  
  
"Shut up you bitch, or I'll tell Malacite. Besides, we were all reincarnated." He stuck his  
tongue out at Rei, who fired back by pulling her eyelid down. Then Rei went over to Grandpa,  
who woke up immediately when she kicked him in that one spot. Rei stormed off before he could say  
a word. She had a crazy idea...  
  
~~~~  
Minako hovered over a porn magazine. She licked her lips, looking from man to man.  
Artemis stuck up behind her. Damn, he thought. Artemis hated to see Minako looking at guys  
because he thought she was extremely sexy. "Minako-chan, that guy has nice balls doesn't he?"  
Minako jerked her head up. "Damn you Artemis!" She yanked his tail. At times Minako resented  
having a talking cat. Especially a one as horny as Artemis.   
  
"Artemis, why don't you go find something to investigate now. Like Luna." She pulled him by the   
scruff of his neck, and chucked him outside. He slammed onto the pavement.   
  
"How about I go and tell Mamoru about the fun magazines you slut? Maybe he can help test some of  
the toys you have in your drawer!" Artemis ran off before Minako could have him neutered.  
  
Mamoru was cheating on Usagi with Minako. Everyone knew this, but Usagi was way to dumb to  
understand that this wasn't good.   
  
Minako was trying to decide what do to to get back on Artemis, so she decided to visit Makoto.  
Mako could help her plane revenge on Artemis. Maybe even something worse....  
  
~~~~  
Ami, meanwhile had successfully repotted her beautiful new plant. She couldn't remember what  
type of plant it was, but she loved it anyway, and christened the plant, "Harold". She named  
it after an old boyfriend of Mako's.   
  
She had asked the senshi, including ChibiChibi and the cats to come over. She tidied up her room,  
and tied a lovely new bow around Harold's pot. She heard squabbling downstairs, and ran to   
greet her friends.  
  
Usagi shoved past her and headed into the kitchen to scarf some cookies. Makoto punched her in  
the stomach for being so rude, and Rei was planning on a later revenge. ChibiChibi was swinging  
off of a chandelier, and Mamoru grabbed her by the leg and shoved her into a duffel bag, zipping  
it up so she had one small section for breathing. Eventually, they made it upstairs.  
  
"I called you all here today to show you the wonderful specimen I found this morning!" She brought  
out Harold.   
  
"Ami-chan you brought us all here just to show us some damn weed? What the hell!" Rei shoved at  
Ami, who almost dropped Harold out the window.   
  
"And it looks like poison Ivy anyways!" Minako rolled her eyes at Ami, who was near tears.  
  
"Harold is not poison ivy! He is a rare and wonderful plant! You should appreciate me for saving  
him! Zoicite almost killed him!" Ami said this with a look of fear, as Zoicite often haunted  
her dreams.  
  
Makoto sniffed the air. "What IS that stench!?" they all looked for the source. ChibiChibi popped  
her head out of the duffel bag, and pointed at Chibiusa,  
  
"PeePee!" she said with an accusing grin. Mamoru shoved her head deep into the bag, and she   
whimpered as he zipped it up tightly.  
  
Everyone looked at Chibiusa, who sniffed the air and pointed at Ami,   
"Ami-chan did you poop your pants? God, you reek like dead fish!" They all moved away from Ami  
subtley. Ami sweatdropped,   
"I don't poop my pants!"  
  
"PeePee!" ChibiChibi's muffled voice said from deep inside the duffel. Mamoru slammed the bag   
against the wall and she fell silent.   
  
"Gross, Ami! You peed your pants! Augh!" for a moment Ami had no idea what to do until Mako yelled  
out suddenly,  
  
"Hey! That IS poison Ivy! Let me kill it!" She grabbed a baseball bat and Ami dodged. She hit  
Usagi in the face and she slammed against the window. Usagi immediately started crying. She  
had a busted lip and all, but nobody gave shit. Lita kicked her in the butt and hussled her   
downstairs. SHe grabbed some cookies, but Rei slapped her across the face. Once they had rid   
Ami's house of Usagi, everyone sat down, twiddling their fingers.  
  
All of the sudden, Jedite appeared in Ami's room. He was only wearing a pair of smiley face  
boxers. Everyone started throwing large wooden objects at him, and he finally disappeared.  
A murmuring was heard from the duffel bag..  
  
"Mamo has no balls" they heard a giggle. Suddenly, Mamoru chucked the duffel bag out the window.  
Everyone heard a thud, honk and screeching of tires. Finally, Rei decided to leave,  
  
"I won't come back until Ami can control her bladder." Everyone agreed, and on the way out,  
Makoto threw some dirt from Harold at Ami. SHe began to talk to the plant.  
  
END PART 1.. maybe the last part TOTAL!!!!!  
  
I think this is the stupidest thing ever written, and I hope you agree! It started off with a plot  
but I was became bored so I poked fun at everyone. No hard feeling, I love all the senshi!!! I hope  
you would the humor in this and weren't offended. 


End file.
